at first I was too distracted by Stede’s plunging neckline and gold earring to fully realize why this kept nagging at me but:
“I’ve been a failure my whole life.”
and the way he says it:
as a matter of fact, because he fully believes it – it’s an integrated part of his self-image
to comfort someone else (presumably), meaning that even though it is sort of similar to Ed’s “I’m not a good person” from s1e6, this scene doesn’t seem to be about Stede getting comforted – he is just throwing that line in there
with the follow-up line of “It’s not so bad once you get used to it,” because he is used to being called a failure by everyone around him, even when he was a kid, so much that he doesn’t question it
and yeah, Stede fucks up a lot and can be a bit air-headed/naive and overestimates his abilities (Stede’s super high confidence vs. shit self-esteem is a central part of his character), often to the detriment of himself and everyone around him, but his biggest “crime” growing up was simply that he was different and didn’t live up to the norms of masculinity. and this is what caused him to be made to feel like a failure by the world around him.
(putting the rest under the cut because I have a lot to say apparently lmao ⬇️)
there’s nothing here for me anymore, no one cares about me, no one texts me too see if I’m okay or if I want to hang out, no one misses me so why am I even here
